A thought...or two

The following are the lyrics from a song by the group Tenth Avenue North. I have been really struggling with depression over the past two weeks. It has grown intensely and I am growing very weary of dealing with it. This song seemed to fit where I am at the moment and so I share the words:

How long must I pray

Must I pray to You?

How long must I wait

Must I wait for You?

How long till I see Your face

See You shining through

I’m on my knees

Begging You to notice me

I’m on my knees

Father, will You turn to me

One tear in the driving rain

One voice in a sea of pain

Could the maker of the stars

Hear the sound of my breaking heart

One life, that’s all I am

Right now I can barely stand

If You’re everything You say You are

Would You come close and hold my heart

I’ve been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes

So much can slip away before I say goodbye

But if there’s no other way

I’m done asking why
So many questions without answers

Your promises remain

I can’t see but I’ll take my chances

To hear you call my name

To hear you call my name

Merry Christmas

Today I am so very thankful that the words of the prophet Isaiah came true.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor

Mighty God

Everlasting Father

Prince of Peace.

Because the Christ child was born, we have an amazing chance to have an amazing relationship with God-who is and will be everything we may ever need and more.

Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Thought...

(First of all-sorry- I took yesterday off of work and literally took the day off. I spent it with my kids-so I guess really I am not that sorry. I did spend some time thinking about this post though, but thinking was as far as I got.)

Luke 1:26-38,46-55

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!”
Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”
Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”
The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she’s now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”
Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.

Mary responded,
“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him. His mighty arm has done tremendous things!

He has scattered the proud and haughty ones. He has brought down princes from their thrones and exalted the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things

and sent the rich away with empty hands. He has helped his servant Israel

and remembered to be merciful. For he made this promise to our ancestors,

to Abraham and his children forever.”

I love to consider Mary and the position she was placed in. I also love her response-she was willing. I think often times we tend to elevate Mary to some kind of saintly status. I do think God chose her because He knew she would be willing, that she would trust God, that she was the perfect person to be the mother of Christ.

God knew exactly what He was asking of exactly who He was asking. He did not attempt to find a willing party by auditioning or interviewing multiple people. He did not fret over whether Mary would do an "OK" job or if she would be too overwhelmed or inconvenienced by the task.

The same is true of each of us. God does not ask us to do something that He wonders if we will be capable of carrying out. The problem then lies with us. We are the ones that worry about the impossibility or inconvenience of the task God has asked us to take on. God knows exactly who He is asking. So if God is asking you to do something, no matter how impossible it seems, no matter if it would cause you to be inconvenienced--He has not made a mistake. He has chosen you to do that specific task, just as He chose Mary to be the mother of Christ.

Keep this in mind:

For nothing is impossible with God.

Our response should then be:

I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true.

Today I am Thankful for...

...a brand new niece. Kaitlyn Nicole Maxson was born yesterday morning.

...a chance to catch up with a friend tomorrow.

...the first of our family Christmas gatherings this weekend, which includes my Grandfather from PA.

...children who make me smile each day before I leave for work. Sometimes it's because they are acting silly and sometimes it is just because they are being themselves.

...the goodness of the LORD.

Wait for His Goodness

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13-14

The past few days I have felt a myriad of emotions. I have been thrilled and excited about the chance to shop for and give gifts to family and friends. I have been frustrated with the people rushing rudely through the stores. I have been saddened by our culture that would rather watch a man play golf than save his family. I have been in awe of God as He provided a huge offering from our church for missions work in the Dominican Repulic and also for our own community. I have been waiting in anticipation for the birth of my niece. I have been caught up in the hectic pace of this season. I have felt so exhausted and wanted to just run away from this mess. I have been reminded of the simple way that Christ came into this world and how very few even knew He was here.

I believe the verses above. I do see the goodness of the LORD. However, I fail to see it when I don't stop and wait for Him. So this is my goal for the next two weeks. Each time I am wished a Merry Christmas, or each time I am somehow reminded of this holiday season (rudely or otherwise) I will wait for the LORD and look for His goodness. What about you? Will you join me?

Today I am Thankful for...

...warmth. I have no idea why I have been allowed to have this gift while others do not. I only know that I am so very grateful. God knows that I have enough trouble staying warm even when it is not 7 degrees with a windchill of -13. I did want to go out this morning and pick up all the kids that had to walk to school and have them all pile into my van, it doesn't seem quite right to make a child endure this weather for more than is absolutely necessary.


...the perspective of giving it all away. Our kids are not asking about gifts and what they want. They are also really excited to go shopping for other kids this weekend. It is so amazing to watch them as they get into the spirit of giving. It is also fun to know that we are able to bring joy to others. I am so thankful that God has blessed us and that His message of serving and loving others is being "caught" by our kids.


...God's blessings and sovereignty in our lives. While we pray and hope to enjoy His blessings for many years, we also know that if it all was taken away we would still have the greatest blessing of all: Christ. God has blessed us with many things, but also with family, friends, and His grace. I am truly humbled and blessed and oh so grateful!

Check this out

Here is a link to a great giveaway. Check it out and get yourself entered to win. How fun!!!

Concert

The post below has pictures from last night. Last night our church hosted the Veggie Tales and Matthew West (Grammy nominated Christian recording artist). As you can see Bob and Larry were there to meet and greet the kids. Matthew did an amazing job of blending Christmas music with worship. It was an amazing concert. The concert ended with Matthew singing with a group of kids from our church. All three of the boys were so excited to be a part of this event. They sang Matthew's new Christmas song (from the Veggie Tales movie) and Silent Night. Yes they really did give 35 kids fire. It was an absolutely amazing evening. We had a lot of fun as well as a good time in the presence of God.

Matthew West Concert

Click here to view these pictures larger

Thankful for...

Emma finally getting on board with potty training. She used the bathroom for the entire day yesterday and today was trying it out with big girl underwear. YIPPEE! The end is in sight. (We have been buying diapers for almost 10 straight years.)

tea, coffee, and space heaters. Anything that keeps me warm at work. And a special thanks to the group of ladies that makes lap blankets for people, because I am currently using one.

people who love snow. Hey, someone has to enjoy it. :-)

my co-workers. I can't wait to party with them tomorrow night.

A thought...or two

We are not saved BY good works, we are saved FOR good works.

These words have been playing over and over in my mind since our pastor said them two weeks ago. We are currently as a church discussing "giving it all away". As Christ-followers we are called to go into the world and help the needy, the widow, the orphans. In fact a verse that stands out to me about this is James 1:27. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Jesus spoke about the poor and needy often and yet we as Americans find it hard to not become disillusioned and hardened to the needs of this world. If it's not right in front of me I tend to turn a blind eye. Another thing that our pastor has challenged us with is this: it doesn't matter how or why a person is poor and needy, we are just called to obey and offer them help and hope. I find myself all too often caught up with rationalizing why I shouldn't offer someone help because of their poor decisions, or sins, or whatever. I have been told to give food, water, clothes, etc...to the least of these in the name of Jesus. (PERIOD) Matthew 25:31-46

In the verse I quoted above I have always been struck by the last part. I can grasp the giving and helping of the needy, but how does that tie into keeping oneself from being polluted by the world? As we have been talking to our kids about giving Christmas away this year and how we can make a difference in someone else's life I am finding just how polluted we have become. We are so wealthy (and I do mean money). We have so many extras in our lives: cable, Internet, cell phones, multiple cars, and the list could go on. How many of those things do we really need? I mean REALLY need. None of them. We could make it work without all of those things and more. But we don't want to be uncomfortable. We may even think we deserve or are entitled to those things. I know I get caught thinking that.

What about you? If you "gave it all away" this Christmas what would it look like? What if instead of just "giving it all away" at Christmas you made a commitment to do something every month, week, day? How would your life change? More importantly how would the lives of others change?

I am sure I will post more on this topic over the next few weeks. Our family is committed to Christmas looking different at our house this year. And then moving into the new year, we want to continue to give back to God what He gave us in the first place. Stay tuned to see how Aaron and I are challenged and changed as well as the kids.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is a day we should remember and honor each and every day.

I have been so blessed. I have an amazing husband, 4 beautiful children, wonderful extended family (some of which are not blood relatives), a great house, food on my table, cars in the garage, and so much more. But if that were all taken away I would still have a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. I am so thankful for His sovereignty, and His unending love and grace that He gives each moment.

I am truly thankful.

A thought...or two

If you were asked to describe God, how would you define Him?

(While there is technically a right and wrong answer here, I just want you to be honest even if it's not completely accurate.)

Do you believe in God? Have you accepted His salvation? Do you understand that the cross and His death on it were/are for you?

Now I want you to think about this picture of God and the power of His redemption. If you have accepted the gift and grace of His salvation, this God-the One True God (no matter how messed up your description) lives in you. His power that raised Jesus from the tomb is in you.

IN YOU!!!!

What are you going to do with that revelation or reminder? Are you going to continue to pray and then not expect an answer, are you going to live in defeat and fear, or are you going to live confidently in the power of God, knowing that He is sovereign? Will your life be changed by the Holy Spirit's power in your life? How will other's see that difference?

(We are not saved by works, but we are saved FOR works-so living a power-filled life should be evident to the world around you.)

Thankful for...

so much I don't know where to begin. This verse sums it up for me today.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

2 Corinthians 9:15

A thought...or two

I am not sure where to start. I have been overwhelmed during the last two days with a heaviness in my heart and spirit. I know that there are specific reasons for some of my feelings. However, on many levels there is a sense of unknown.

This I do know: "The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect [me] from the evil one." (2 Thessalonians 3:3) I also know that "God did not give [me] a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7)

I believe that spiritual battles are very real. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:11-12) I know that for whatever reason I am being brought to my knees. The enemy is trying hard to discourage me, but my God is so much bigger and His love for me is overwhelming: "the love of Christ...that surpasses knowledge" (Ephesians 3:18-19)

So for this moment or space of time I will continue to go to God and be in His presence with His truths and promises. Won't you join me? There is truly no better place to be anyway, no matter the circumstances.

To end I want to share a quote with you (I have no idea who said it or where it came from):

"It is time to stop telling God how big our mountains are and instead tell our mountains how big our God is."

Where did the color go?

I am looking outside and wondering what on earth happened in the past few weeks. After a chilly summer (yes-I prefer 80-90's) and then an almost non-existent fall, it seems that it is now winter. We are back to cold, dreary, rainy, gray days. Yucky.

So for today I will look at pictures that I took within the past month. And I will remember, "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it only remains a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." (John 12:24) The colors will be back. God is faithful and He makes all things beautiful, even on the gray and dreary days.

Thankful for...

my children

who are growing up way too fast.

A thought...or two

God has really been stirring in my heart when it comes to prayer. I have recently been reading an amazing book, "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" which I think should be a must read for everyone. I also have been challenged in my personal devotional time as well as in group settings about prayer and what it should be in my life.

I recently read 1 Samuel 1-2:11 during my personal time with God. I have been coming back to this passage over the past few days. It is about the birth of Samuel. I am struck by his mother Hannah's passionate plea to God for a child. Even though she is the wife who is loved, even though the other wife has supplied children to her husband, she continues for years to cry out to God for a child of her own. She came to the point of "bitterness in her soul" and she wept and prayed to the LORD.

I am struck by the fact that she desired something so much she prayed for years. How often do I pray for something and when it doesn't happen within months, weeks or days I figure it just isn't supposed to be? Not only did she pray for years for a child, she did it under difficult circumstances. She even got to the point of "bitterness in spirit". I know I would have given up for sure by that point.

Her prayer becomes desperate, to the point where she makes a vow with God. You give me a son, I'll give him back to you. (my paraphrase) And isn't it interesting that when she gets to the point of saying "you can have back what I so badly want" that God remembered her and gave her a son.

As I have pondered this passage over the past few days there have been many aspects that I have thought about, but I am left wondering about this:

What do I so passionately want from God that I am willing to get on my knees and ask for it for as long as it takes?

and

Am I willing to surrender my desires back to Him if He decides to answer my prayer?

What are you praying for? Do you believe God is going to answer, or are you pryaing because it's the right thing to do? God wants us to seek Him, but not for personal gain and satisfaction, rather so that He can work through us and the desires and passions He has placed within us.

Please Pray

If you don't regularly follow any of the other blog links I have, please take a moment to check out the blog "My Charming Kids". While I do not personally know this family, I have followed their blog for quite a while. I would consider them friends. I pray that someday I will be able to meet this family, but until then I will follow their lives through the blog and continue to pray.

Please read up on their journey and join in praying for this family and their precious son, Stellan.

Thankful for...

a day at home with my kids. I didn't work yesterday due to our sitter taking the day off, though I probably would have taken the day off anyway as I didn't feel the greatest.

After the oldest two got on the bus, I cleaned for a while and then I had a blast with Stephen and Emma. We made a quick trip to Walmart. As we were preparing to leave I told Stephen to not let me forget to get peanut butter, to which he said, "Maybe you should make a list mom." So instead of me making the list he got to do it in the car on the way to the store. We didn't need a lot, and he was able to sound out everything and write it down. He was so proud. So was I. He carried that list through the store, making sure we didn't forget anything.

We then stopped by McDonald's for the kids lunch. They had cleaned the playroom earlier and wanted to eat lunch at the table in the playroom. It was great.

After taking Stephen to school it was time for Emma to lay down for a nap. But first we laid together and read a book and talked. It was so precious. I left her room and went to my bed to take a nap. But first listened to her talk and then sing.

It was a great day. I think I need to plan to take more days off just to be with my kiddos. They are growing up way to fast. I want to enjoy them now. God has richly blessed me with four amazing children.

A thought...or two

So much has happened in the past week. So much of it seemed to move in slow motion and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

Last Wednesday, my beloved Grandmother, Ruby Rapp, went to be with Jesus. Words cannot fully express all I have been feeling and continue to feel. God is good, I do know that without a doubt. Grandma truly knew the joy of her salvation and her life and death reflected that joy.

My Grandma has always been very special to me. I will continue to pursue life in such a way that her legacy lives on. It all hinges on my relationship with God. Grandma modeled such joyful hope, patience in affliction, and faithfulness in prayer (Romans 12:12). I love her very much. I thank God for such an amazing woman that taught so much just by being who she was created to be, a daughter of the King.

A thought...or two

The devil is a scheming, conniving, little ... Well you know.

Last night he decided to mess with my baby. We put Emma to bed just like normal, but within just a few moments she was screaming. I let Aaron try to put her back in bed and after that did not calm her down I took a turn. When I went in there she was screaming, shaking, and she just clung to me. She kept telling me it was scary. I got her to calm down a little bit but any time I moved she would start up again. I then began to pray out loud over her. I called on Jesus to calm her and cast out her fears. She calmed down, stopped shaking and when I kissed her goodnight, she just rolled right over and went to sleep.

Well, that made me mad. The devil can mess with me but not my babies. And guess what? He decided to take me up on that. I did not sleep well at all last night (and I even took one of my sleeping pills). I had dreams (that I can't remember) that made me sit straight up in bed, heart pounding. Then this morning was just not a good morning. Every little thing was getting on my worn out nerves. AHHHHH!!

But, the devil ended up losing this round. I went straight to The Source of my life. I spent time praying and the Holy Spirit led me to Matthew 11:28-30. I read it over and over, just soaking it in.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I have more energy now than when I woke up and I have peace. In fact things that typically I struggle to handle well are not wearing me down. The Holy Spirit is continually bringing key words from this passage to my mind. For me those words are: come, rest, gentle, humble, easy, light. I wonder what stands out to you. Go to The Source and be comforted, held, restored.

Today I am Thankful for...

...science that created shampoo and spray to eradicate lice. Now if only they could create something that would kill them all over the house, so that you don't have to clean every little thing with hot water and hot heat. But overall, I am just thankful to be done with the little buggers.

...the great report cards that my boys received yesterday. Alex made honor roll which was actually a very pleasant surprise as he was really struggling with completing assignments. Jackson made high honor roll with straight A's, including an A+ in Math and an S+ in art. (They rarely ever give anything above an S in those classes.) Stephen doesn't actually get grades yet, but his teacher said that he will be reading basic stories by Christmas and is already writing in sentences with spacing and punctuation, and he is grasping math ideas not just numbers. WOW! The brains that these boys have are truly gifts from God. They are smart and gifted in so many areas. I loved just sitting and listening to their teachers praise them.

...the chance to hang out with my mom and sisters this weekend. It is Christmas shopping weekend for the girls. Emma is going along for this trip and I am looking forward to the time with her as well. Shopping, food and girl time---YIPPEE!

Tickle me slow

Emma loves (and I do mean LOVES) to have her back rubbed; or her tummy or her leg or her arm. She calls it tickling. But she will tell me to tickle her back slow. Or "Tickle me slow on my tummy, mommy." When she does this, it is a joy to lay with her on the couch and "tickle" her. She relaxes and has fallen asleep a time or two. It is such a precious time for me and her.

I was thinking about this quiet time that Emma requests (actually she demands) and how special it is to just be with her. If I feel this way as an earthly parent, how must God feel when I choose to climb up into His lap and ask Him to soothe me? He loves me and desires to share that love with me. Sometimes in our relationship all He is asking for is time spent quietly soaking in His love.

My challenge to you (and to myself) is to find a moment to sit in God's loving presence and soak in His love. Ask Him to tickle you slowly and relax, knowing His touch is going to be exactly what you needed.

Today I am Thankful for...

...space heaters. I have one going at my desk in the office, trying to stay warm. I am not sure I would survive if not for my little buddy. Well, maybe I would survive but I would probably be some shade of blue.

...fruits and veggies. I just spent the past 10 days eating only fruits and vegetables in an effort to detox and try to get the cholesterol under control. (I did take last Saturday and part of Sunday off as it was a birthday weekend.) I love the sweetness of the fruit and the variety of vegetables. I have had some awesome salads and stir fry this past week and a half.

...my 10 days of the Daniel diet being over. I am ready for some meat. Though I think I will probably do a better job of adding fresh veggies and fruit into my diet.

...an opportunity to have a date with my husband tomorrow. We don't have big plans and that to me sounds great. Dinner and a movie or games at home. Perfect.

A thought...or two

Our world is a mess. There are children dying from a strain of the flu; there are unborn children who never see this world because their mothers don't want to be inconvenienced; there is senseless death because people can't agree to disagree; people would rather be high than deal with pain; people are losing their jobs and their homes, their dignity and self worth; cancer is claiming the lives of good, hard working, God loving people.


And for most of us that is the outside world. For some of us the mess we see is different. It is a spouse who is not meeting our needs; it is a child who is struggling with school; it is friends who didn't call; it an aging parent; it is the depressing cold rainy weather after a cool summer; it is the job that just sucks you dry; it is begging God to answer and you only hear silence.

Depressed yet?!

Life can be a struggle. We were never promised a joy ride. In fact scripture tells us that we will face troubles and trials. And as I was reading this morning I came across a wonderful verse in Isaiah. I hope that it speaks to you, no matter what you are facing today.

"Though the mountains be shaken, and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken,

nor my covenant of peace be removed,"

says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

Today I am Thankful for...

...my baby girl. She will turn three on Saturday. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone. So in honor of her birthday, here are some of my favorite things about Emma:

her laugh

her love of music

her strength (especially with her brothers)

her gorgeous blond hair

her hugs and kisses

her prayers

her stories

her energy

her love and adoration of her daddy

her love of clothes and shoes

her independence

The past three years have been so different with Emma in our lives. She is definitely different than her brothers and yet she wants to fit in. It has been such a blessing to have a little girl and I look forward to the years ahead.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

Forgiveness Interview

This post is a tough one. I would not typically share something like this except that I wanted my family to have the opportunity to see this clip.

A number of weeks ago I was given the opportunity to share with our church a part of the journey my life has taken in relationship to forgiveness. Our pastor is doing a series on forgiveness and he ended his sermon on that Sunday with the following clip. While this is a small part of the interview (and story), I pray that the impact will be far-reaching and that God is glorified. I am still amazed with the response I have received through e-mails, phone calls, letters, and face-to-face conversations. God is working in a mighty way.

Also, here is the link to the website where you can listen or download the whole message (Jesus' Dying Prayer).

The clip is at this location. http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=c9b5fbfb3bc667c06b04

Do you ever fight with God?

I do.

I never win. But I will argue, disagree, pout and wear myself out, until I finally surrender.

The amazing thing is this...No matter what I say or how I act and no matter how long it takes He is faithful and His love for me never changes.

I can get so caught up in what I think should happen or what I should or should not be doing that I fail to remember that God has always proven faithful. He has never once led me astray or let me down. Yet I fail to rely on that fact and I choose to fight God.

The truth is that God IS faithful and He DOES work all things to His glory and to the good of those that love Him. Now if I can just keep that in mind...

Today I am Thankful for...

...yesterday. I took a personal day and spent the day in silence with God. It was amazing and refreshing. God did not choose to reveal anything "big" but the one thing I really walked away with was HUGE: He loves me! Such a simple concept that we know but we rarely grasp a hold of and live. (Yes-the silence was golden. The only sound was the fireplace, a lawn mower, and me.)

...tomorrow. I am going to a Women's conference with friends. I am thrilled to worship and learn along side of these women. I pray that God will reveal Himself in new ways and draw us closer to each other and Him.

...today. What a gift it is to have each moment. We don't know what each day will hold or even if we will have the next day. I feel so blessed. I hope that no matter what kind of day you are having that you will remember to see it as a gift.

OK... so I read this most amazing, thought provoking statement in my devotional time this morning and I just had to share it...

"human understanding is not necessary for spiritual obedience"

Food for Thought Tuesday

Do you fear God?

Not in a scared way, but in a reverent-full of awe way?

I am finding that if I truly viewed Him in that way I would find myself seeking His presence more, desiring a true relationship with Him. I find instead that I often disrespect Him by being too busy, too tired, too caught up in my life and my issues. I say I desire to know Him and to be in His presence and yet I put Him off and in that alone I do not fear Him. If I truly took the time to grasp who He is and what He is doing around me I would be falling all over myself to get in His presence. He is God, LORD, Savior, Alpha and Omega, the King of kings, Creator, Father, GOD!

What about you? Do you fear God? What is it that is holding you back?

Today I am Thankful for...

...Austin, a friend of Alex's who has been fighting a third round of cancer, had a scan today. All that was found a spec. The doctor's are calling it a phenomenon. I know that it is the healing power of God. So many friends and families have gathered around Austin and his family during the past few months and it is amazing to see God work through them. God is good-ALL THE TIME.



...the sounds of my kids. I love to hear the sounds of them playing together outside. The sounds of Emma repeating whatever Dora or Diego are repeating. The laughter as they are being tickled or chased by daddy. Their sweet voices as they pray.


...the sounds of fall. There is something musical about hearing the wind through the leaves that are turning colors. It is a great sound to fall asleep to, like I did last night. I was realizing that the wind in the leaves truly sounds different in the fall. It's a beautiful song.


...a night away with my husband. After Alex plays his first football game on Saturday, Aaron and I are headed to Indy for the night. We will be attending the Kenny Chesney concert and will get to eat out and sleep in a hotel, all stuff that we don't tend to do with the children in tow. I am looking forward to enjoying my husband's friendship this weekend.

Thought for the day

I have been re-reading Romans lately. As I got up this morning and drove into work this verse is the verse that popped into my mind. I only wish I had my camera. Gorgeous is the only way to describe this crisp sunny morning.

Romans 1:20

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

Remember

9/11


These numbers, this date is seared into our brains as a fateful day when tragedy struck our land. Evil men took down buildings with planes, and with those buildings and planes the lives of many people were lost.

But today as I think back, I remember the good out of that day. I remember the families that gathered together "just because" and the strangers that gathered to pray and give blood. I remember the heroes that gave their lives so more would live. I remember the stories of "I was supposed to be on that flight" or "I was running late to work." I remember the churches that were filled. The people who cried out for hope and peace and found them in Christ. The patriotism that stirred once again. The days of peace we have had since then.

Many tears will be shed today in remembrance, many prayers will be lifted for those whose lives will never be the same. But as we remember, let us also remember the blessings of God that were given to us because of 9/11.

Today I am Thankful for...

...the way God works. It never ceases to amaze me that when God is teaching me something it is an often repeated theme in my life. A few weeks ago I blogged about God stirring in our hearts and that we were waiting on Him to reveal his plan to us. Over the past few weeks God has been revealing Himself and His plan to us, but instead of having our focus be on where we are going, our focus is being continually brought to the present time. God is desiring that we know Him today, that we listen to the Holy Spirit's promptings for today and leave tomorrow in His hands. Does this mean there won't be changes? We don't know, but we know who does and we will continue to trust Him.

...God turning our ashes into beauty. I am working on a post that will include a video from an interview I did for our pastor's series on forgiveness. I have received such amazing feedback and two weeks later, people are still contacting me. God has used an awful situation to bring glory to Himself. Tune in later for the video.

Today I am Thankful for...

...Jackson Dean.
Today he is 8 years old. Where has the time gone?!

Here are a few of the reasons I am thankful for Jack:

his smile (that lights up his whole face)

his tender love for those that are younger

his passion for animals

his adventurous spirit (even if he does try to go to Africa)

his desire to learn

his drive to do things right

his love for his family

his ability to make me laugh

his good manners

his giving/sharing attitude

These are just a few reasons that I am thankful for Jackson. When he is away from the family there is an energy that is missing and while sometimes we would love to be able to tame it,we never want to be without it. Jackson is such a blessing and we praise God for him and all that he will accomplish.

Baptism

Here are a before and after picture of Alex at baptism a few weeks ago. He was so serious and then so joyful. It was such a blessing to have Uncle Greg baptize Alex.

One of the coolest things was that when we were praying as a family on the Saturday night before baptism, Alex prayed "that the Holy Spirit would pour out on him when he was baptized." WOW!

The following are just some of my favorites from that afternoon.

Food for Thought Tuesday

Beauty from ashes

works all things to the good

life abundant

He restores

He redeems

He makes all things new

Today I am Thankful for...

...the little reminders of God's character. Earlier this week just after some storms blew through the area there was a rainbow. We happened to be driving at this time and the rainbow had become very bright, Jackson commented "It's one of God's masterpieces." This comment then led to an amazing discussion with my kids about God. Another little reminder came in the form of a hymn sing at our staff meeting. Those old hymns have a way of speaking to my heart and soul that is different than contemporary worship songs.


...a chance to meet Alex's new teacher. She is new to the school, but not to teaching. She is amazingly structured in her classroom, but not so much that she doesn't allow for the kids to be themselves and to learn without being left behind. I think it is going to be an amazing year for Alex. I would guess that half of the class were all friends from church before this year started. I am excited to see what God has in store for this class, teacher, and school. It's going to be powerful!


...an amazing time of prayer and Bible study with my husband last night. We were able to go to the church for Third Wednesday prayer between the class meeting and picking up the kids. This gave us a chance to talk and pray together on our knees. It was powerful. Then after the kids were in bed we spent time together working on a new Bible study that we are working through individually, as a couple, and with our small group. Again, I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Food for Thought Tuesday

Psalm 51:1-2, 7, 10, 16-17

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all m iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Food for Thought Tuesday

On Wednesday. (Running a little behind this week.)


I have had the lines of a worship song running through my head for the past week or so. I hope that you can find encouragement from these words as well.

For Your endless love

For the life you gave

For the second chance

For Your priceless grace

For Your healing touch

For the gift of peace

For the blessed hope

For the faith to believe

For these reasons I praise You

For these reasons I worship You

For these reasons I live to tell of Your love to all the world

As I re-read these lyrics I was struck by the fact that I have done nothing on my own. Without God I don't even have the faith to believe. But it is precisely for these reasons He has my praise, worship and life. I encourage you to read these lyrics, process them, think about them and live them.

Overdue Vacation Pictures

OK. So I took over 550 pictures the week we were on vacation, so needless to say, I am only posting highlights.

The cars were packed to the max. We ended up sharing our site with Aaron's parents who bought a new tent half way through the week, giving us a total of three tents on the site, plus the canopy. We looked like a little village. (The second picture begs the question: "How many Christner's does it take to set up a two man tent?" The answer: as many as five.)

The lake and family is what the week was all about. We had a double decker pontoon with a slide. All the cousins enjoyed it thoroughly. (This group of second cousins is roughly half the actual number of cousins on the Christner side.)

The boys enjoyed tubing. Alex and Jack both tried it on their own as well. Stephen just floated for most of the week, claiming to be scared of the water. By Friday though he was in the water with just his life jacket. He became quite the water bug.

Not only did the double decker pontoon have a slide, but the boys loved jumping off the top deck.


Aaron and Alex both did some wake boarding. Alex did it on a board with Brock. He really enjoyed it.

While there was more tubing and swimming and eating and hanging out, I am afraid this is it for the time being. Though I will include a video of Emma. My mother in law got her to sing for the camera at the campsite one night.

We are looking forward to next year.

School Time

As the new background hints, it is that time of year again. School begins a week from Monday. It is hard to believe that in two weeks the boys will have the first week of school under their belts.

I love the return to school for many reasons. I love the routine of the school year most of all. I also love to watch my kids as they learn and grow. School also signals new beginnings. New friendships are made, new teachers are met, new knowledge is learned and shared, and new supplies are bought. I love the smell of school supplies, the fresh air smell that comes with summer ending and fall beginning. There is also comfort in the sounds of a new school year; the school bus coming through the subdivision, the sounds of the kids on the playground, the sound of a pencil and eraser as the kids work on their homework.

My kids love school and it's return. So do I.

Today I am Thankful for...

...friends and family who love and care for us.

First of all, we got to spend an amazing week with lots of family. It was such a great time.

Secondly, I apparently sparked quite a stir with my last post. The questions and responses are just another evidence of your love.

To put everyone at ease, there are no current changes on the near horizon. Aaron and I have been talking and discussing a stirring that we have in our hearts. This stirring however is just that, we do not feel any clear direction from God at this point. We feel that maybe it could be as simple as God just wanting us to be closer to Him, or it could be bigger. We have discussed many possibilities: adoption, moving, new jobs, ministry, etc...but our desire is that whatever the future holds, we will be obedient to God's calling in our lives. We also understand that this could be a long process and the fruit of this stirring we are feeling may not be evident for months.

For now, we are enjoying our marriage and family, our small group and extended family, our home, our ministry areas, we are preparing for the kids to return to school, for football season to start, etc...the same old same old. But we are doing it all with a prayerful heart, intentionally watching for God to reveal His plan for us.

Again, thanks for all the concerns and questions. We love you all and are deeply blessed to have such a wonderful group of family and friends.

Food for Thought Tuesday

Today I just wanted to share some cool news with you.

On Sunday, Stephen asked Jesus into his heart. He was very excited about it. It is fun to watch the "Light" come on.

Also, Alex will be baptized in two weeks. He has talked about it for quite some time. We are excited to see him grasp the significance of baptism and the stand he is taking in doing so.

God is working in Aaron and I as well, we are intensely praying and seeking God's will for our future. We will keep you posted if there are any big changes. It may just be a time for God to draw us closer to Himself and each other. No matter what, God is in control and He is good.

Please Pray

Last week just before we left for vacation we found out that a dear little man that is not only one of our neighbors, but also a friend of Alex's has had a third recurrence of cancer. He is currently completing a round of chemotherapy. (A lot happened while we were away.)

Austin is a fighter and we know that no matter what this next stage of his life entails, he will fight each and every step of the way. The cool part is that Alex is wanting to walk beside him and help him fight.

Please pray for Austin's healing. For Andy and Angie, Drew, JW and Alyssa as they walk together as a Austin's family. Pray for wisdom in the decisions that need to be made. Also, please pray that Austin will be lifted up in such a way that God receives amazing glory through this journey.

Back to Reality

We spent the past week at Lake Cumberland in Kentucky. It was a great time with family and friends. We spent four days on the lake, relaxing, tubing, wake boarding, sliding (our double-decker pontoon had a slide) and splashing one another. It was great. This was the first week long family vacation we have had in ten years of marriage, so it was very needed. I took lots of pictures (over 500) and now will have to go through and edit them. I will post pictures from the week later.

But for now...it is back to reality.

I love this little gal.

Food for Thought Tuesday

How do you view grace? Do you see it as a free pass to do whatever you want, is it a gift that you really don't value, or is it a living and active act of God in your life?

Titus 2:11-12

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,"

This verse says that grace is a tool that teaches. And based upon what it is teaching I would have to believe that this is not a once and done lesson. At least based on my life it seems to be a continual process.

I often think that as contemporary Christ followers we put too much emphasis on grace and not enough on truth. Specifically the fact that grace is necessary to save us from something. If we didn't need to be saved we wouldn't need grace.

I think also that often times we look at ourselves and see ourselves as much better than we truly are. We will look at other's sins and measure ours against theirs believing ours to be "not so bad". Sin is sin-no two ways around it. For some of us the daily grace we need is to resist gossipping, or the temptation to go back to the fridge one more time, or to say no to the addiction in our life. No matter what, we all have sin issues and we daily need grace to teach us to say "no".

But be encouraged "for the grace of God... has appeared to all men." Verse 14 says, "Jesus Christ, gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

Small Group Fun

Last weekend our small group had the chance to spend the weekend together. It was an amazing time of laughter, fun, and lots of water. Here are a few pictures from that weekend:

There was some fishing (though I don't think much if anything was caught), there was splashing, and water relay races.

The trampoline saw a lot of time and there was family craft time. Each family made two stepping stones.

The boys (adults) had lots of fun filling and shooting water balloons at the kids out on the pirate ship. I would guess that there were about 1000 balloons filled and shot over the course of the weekend. The boys (again-adults) also had fun out on the pirate ship.

We are looking forward to another small group trip, though it is yet to be planned. We are definitely blessed with a great group of friends.

Sermon continued...

OK so yesterday in my "thankful" post I got a little preachy. Well, here we go again.

Today I was reading in Titus 1. So I get to the last verse and it says,

"They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him."

1 John 1 and Titus 1 are both speaking to a duality that is often played out in our lives. We claim one thing but walk differently. As I was struck by the similarities of what I have been reading in two different environments, I was also struck by the fact that God often does that when He is trying to get my attention. My first reaction to God was to say, "God, I don't think I am doing anything that is "dark" or in denial of You." But then I began to think over the past few days. My love of others hasn't been the greatest. I have gotten frustrated and upset with people/issues and have vented in ways that I am quite positive did not bring God any glory or honor. The line between walking in Light and in darkness can so easily be crossed.

It is my greatest desire to walk in the Light, but I so often will give way to my human tendencies and in reality will be denying God by what I am doing or saying. the saddest part in this is that I tend to deny God by my actions with my kids. I will give into my anger and discipline out of my selfishness rather than out of my love for them.

What about you? Do your actions line up with what you claim with your mouth?

I believe that God loves me no matter how many times I mess up. I do believe though that His desire for me is to be in tune with the Holy Spirit and His Word so that my actions become more and more reflective of the Light. "For all have sinned...and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ." (Romans 3:23-24)

Today I am Thankful for...

...true fellowship with other Christ followers. Yesterday in our Bible Study at work we talked about this topic and about what fellowship is and how it should look. (We were reading 1 John 1.) We talked about how walking in The Light brings about fellowship and as we talked, one of the guys had a great visual example.

Fellowship should look like an orchestra. We should all be "playing" the same song. But that might get boring you say. Well, we do all have different gifts, skills, passions, etc...and that is where fellowship is no longer boring. Think about the variety of instruments in an orchestra. Think about how many notes are being played at the same time, but when done in harmony it is an amazing sound. So fellowship happens when different people walk in the Light and maybe they do it slightly different than the next person, but the song is the same.

The song can't be played well without the conductor. If everyone is doing their own thing there will be a lot of discord and missed notes. The same is true with fellowship; without everyone looking to The Light and walking in the Light, there will be discord. True fellowship happens with a singular focus and watching Him for the cues. Where do we find these cues? From His Word.

1John 1 says that we are either walking in darkness or walking in light. It can't be both. So if there is a break in fellowship one must then understand that there is ultimately a sin issue to be dealt with and it is best to look inward first.

And also, if multiple people are claiming to be hearing from the Holy Spirit and they are not in agreement then not everyone is hearing from God. There is One Spirit and One God. He isn't going to say different things to different people. (OK- so I will get off of my soap box.)

True fellowship though is something that I am truly thankful for. Because I know that it is not possible without the blood of Christ and also because it brings pure joy. When you get those moments of fellowship there is sense of God's presence that is truly amazing. Look first to the Light, which is God, and be amazed when you experience fellowship in the spiritual sense. The song is beautiful.

MRI Results

OK so I had an MRI on my back last week. I finally got the results yesterday.

Hmmmm...I think I am officially falling apart.

It is never good when the nurse calls and hesitates as she states that the results are in. So then she proceeds to give me the short version and the recommendations, which were to consult with a neurosurgeon or orthopedic surgeon. At that point I grabbed a pencil and paper and asked her to repeat everything.

My first course of action was to immediately call my little brother the Doctor (who will be specializing in orthopedic surgery). And so that is exactly what I did. Fortunately Ben is smart and well informed so he gave me other options, like physical therapy and a procedure called traction. So now I have more options as I move forward.

Please pray that we make wise decisions and that whatever the outcome now and in the future that we will seek God.

Food for Thought Tuesday

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16,17

I know that God loves me. But I have recently been struck by the fact that God's expression of His greatest love was a plan, that included suffering. Neither God nor Jesus were surprised by the fact that Jesus was tortured and killed on the cross. The fact that God loves me (and you) so much to plan Jesus' suffering for my benefit is overwhelming.

The love I share with others and offer to God, pales in comparison. I often withdraw my love in times that are hard and painful. When in fact maybe the pain has somehow been planned to help me deepen and show my love. What greater expression of love is there than to offer love even in the midst of pain? Isn't it then that our love is purest, because it is not based upon ourselves, it is truly focused on the person we are loving?

Today I am Thankful for...

...our small group. We will be spending the weekend with our small group (which is 8 adults and 10 kids). We are going to a house on a lake in northern Indiana. These are not just friends-they are truly family, and I am so excited to spend a weekend relaxing and just hanging out with all of them.

...10 years with the most amazing man. Tomorrow we celebrate our anniversary. The time has gone by so quickly and yet in many ways I feel like we have always been. I have been so richly blessed. There are not words to express all I feel. So I will leave it at this: I am so thankful to God for the blessing of Aaron in my life!

Milestone

Well, something I thought might very well never happen, did in fact happen last night. I actually enjoyed one of my husband's softball games with all four of my children. They all hung out with me on the bleachers and for the most part were well behaved (other than a few sibling issues).

It is amazing to think about the fact that we have arrived at a stage in our lives where the outcome of an outing like this is pleasant for everyone. I used to dread softball games because I ended up leaving frazzled and tired, let alone the fact that the game I was there to see had been played and I seemed to miss it.

The fact is that our children are getting older. Life is changing. In some ways that is exciting and on the other hand, a little sad. But the truth is we have been blessed with four amazing children, who have issues at times, but for the most part are well-behaved, lovely children to be around. Life happens so fast and the milestones are too often missed in the busyness. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit prompted me to be mindful of the event that had just taken place.

Now if only we could get to the milestone of "no more diapers."

Food for Thought Tuesday

It is difficult to reach our highest potential without God, for God is the only one who knows what our potential is.

4th of July Weekend Fun

We began the weekend with lots of family and friends gathered for good food and fellowship. In addition to celebrating the birthday of our nation, we celebrated the Maxson's 35th anniversary, and Margo's birthday.

Before the big fireworks display young and old gathered to try out some backyard fun.

Then on to the big event. It was fun to sit and talk with family and friends as we waited for it to finally get dark. For the beginning of July it was quite chilly, though Emma was just trying to hide from the fireworks.

The 2nd Annual Christner Family Fourth of July Pictures

Today I am thankful...

...for a new computer at work. I have this awesome big LCD screen, faster system and new programs to make the counseling center more efficient and client friendly. Yeah!!!

...for 4 day weekends. I have a great job, but I do love to be able to spend extra time with family and friends.

Museum and Zoo Trip

We spent the weekend in Chicago a few weeks ago and I am just getting around to editing and posting pictures from that trip. We went to the Field Museum with my mother and father-in-law. We were able to stay with my brother-in-law and his family and we all went to Brookfield Zoo. The day at the zoo began quite rainy, but ended up being a beautiful day.

FIELD MUSEUM

The highlight for the boys was to see "Sue" the T-Rex. We did learn an interesting fact-Sue's head in this picture is not her actual skull-her actual skull weighs too much to be displayed with the rest of her body.

Emma is sitting in the footprint of a dinosaur.

The kids all sitting on a dinosaur leg bone.

BROOKFIELD ZOO

We had so much fun seeing the cool things God has created, as well as being with family.

(And yes, the snow leopard came right up to Emma and Hailey. So Cool!!!)