Calming the chaos

Happy New Year, a bit late.

Our family is in the midst of one of the busiest seasons to date. Which is probably astounding, since I think I comment on our chaotic schedule every time I post. :)

Alexander and Jackson are each playing basketball. While both in middle school they are on two different teams, with different schedules. Aaron is once again the assistant Varsity Girl's coach, so there is yet another basketball schedule. It is typical to have at least two games a night right now, usually at different ends of the county. In addition to these schedules, Stephen has started back into soccer practices, fortunately it is once a week for now. And I just began teaching a class at Lancaster Bible College in addition to my regular job. We are just a bit busy. Poor Emma just gets the joy of going from one place to another right now. Though she did just ask if she could take dance lessons. (Oh my! Not sure I could add another practice schedule to my calendar without it exploding or imploding or something.)

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and a bit out of control when the schedule gets too busy. Here are some tips we have found keep us sane:

1. Know your priorities! Is it work and advancing your resume/career? Is it your kids and their involvement in various activities? For us family is a priority. Because of this family dinner is something we strive to keep consistent. Know what your priority is and keep it in mind as you build your calendar.
2. Put entire sports/school/class/meeting schedules on your calendar. Add those extra items you are already aware of (like date nights, youth group, vacations, days off, dental/ortho appts., volunteer hours, etc...) so that you don't forget and double book yourself. 
3. Include space in your calendar. If need be, block out an hour a day or a couple hours here and there when you know it is time dedicated to your family/home. This is the only way my house gets cleaned some weeks.
4. Set a time once a week to look at the upcoming week. Talk about who needs to be where at what time, and who is responsible for whom. Have a plan for each day and the week ahead. Include travel times, meals, etc...
5. Take one day at a time. This may seem contradictory to #4, but once you have the plan for the week ahead, this actually helps with the day to day chaos. It also helps keep the sense of being overwhelmed at bay. Focus on the plan for today. Don't worry about tomorrow.
6. Be willing to be flexible. Weather or illness can easily cause plans to change. Embrace the changes as opportunities. Weather often creates "forced family fun" and togetherness. Illness is a chance to love on someone in a specific way.
7. Be willing to ask for help. You may have to find someone to help you balance the schedule and help with one or more items on the calendar. (Be willing and ready to help others as well.) Find another mom or dad who can share carpooling responsibilities.
8. Say "No!" when other things come along to fill your schedule. If it conflicts with something already on your calendar, remember your first commitment. If you "could make it work" it probably is something you don't need to prioritize. (For us, this often comes in the form of "Mom, can I go to  ________'s house.) Sometimes it is necessary to say no to things just so you can be together as a family, even if you don't have specific plans.
9. Keep the future in perspective. It may be that you are asked to participate in something that is a few months away. Take time to consider the following questions: Will life look different at that time, and if so, how? If you would have to prepare for the opportunity, when will you be able to dedicate time to think about it? Does that give you enough time or will it create greater stress because of a limited timeline? Is there anything that could potentially be a priority during that time frame (like that family vacation you need to nail down dates for or the camp that one of the kids really wants to attend)?

I am sure there are many other great ways to calm the chaos, these are what we have found work best for our family. Hopefully these ideas help you and your family.

To end this post here are some pictures of some of our chaos. :) And a momma's moment of bragging: both Alex and Jack are in the top 5 scorers on their teams. They have both stepped up as leaders both on and off the court. It has been fun to watch their skill levels improve this season as well.

Advent

WOW, it's been three months since last posting. It's hard to believe we are into the holiday season already. To catch you up...we wrapped up the fall soccer season and jumped right into the basketball season, we enjoyed watching two of the boys participate in their first musical production for school, we enjoyed Thanksgiving with our families, and much more.

Our lives are consistently busy these days. The busyness seems to increase with the ages of our children and their involvement in various things. There is not anything that is in our schedules that I would say is bad or wasteful of our time, yet most of our time is filled with some type of activity. We have even said "no" to a few things because it would take away the one night in a week that we are all together at home. The great thing is that the kids are getting old enough for Aaron and I to get out of the house for short times just the two of us. And God provides unexpected moments, like snow days!

Each year during the month of December our family has done an Advent calendar. This is something we have done since Alex and Jack were young. It is the type of calendar with windows that open and tell the Christmas story. As the days of the month would pass we would "retell" each day and then the kids would take turns opening the current day's window. By Christmas, everyone could say the story from memory. The story had become familiar.

This year we are doing something different. With kids being older, as well as the fact that we felt like we were in a rut of familiarity, we found an Advent devotional online and are using it to guide our family through this season. We are really enjoying it so far and it's great because it is a new, fresh and even bigger perspective of the familiar Christmas story.

Advent means arrival or coming. In the days leading up to the birth of Christ, the people of God were looking forward to His arrival-the First Advent.  Today, Advent is traditionally the count down of the four weeks before Christmas, celebrating this first arrival of Jesus. Practically speaking though, Advent should remind us daily to look for His return. We should be using this season of Advent to reset our perspective on Jesus as the center of our lives so we are living a life filled with anticipation and expectation for His second coming.

All too often it is easy to get caught up in the extra busyness of this season, and even in times of reflection on the true meaning of the season we slip into the familiarity of the story. I wonder how often we have heard the passage in Luke 2; maybe even to the point where we could say portions of it from memory. When was the last time that we truly allowed the wonder of this baby born in Bethlehem to penetrate our hearts to the point that we are currently living in anticipation of His return? When was the last time we actually considered the Truth that He is coming again? Does it ever cross our minds in the hectic schedule of our lives? When was the last time the urgency of this Truth changed the way we interacted with people, the way we gave, the way we loved? And shouldn't it?

Birthday Present

Well, to start with, I can't believe it has been almost two months since last posting. We went on vacation, started fall soccer seasons, and the kids have been back in school for a month. It has become very important for our family to take one day at a time. Even though there are some routines that are back in place, there are also many days when we need to be flexible in adapting to a different challenge in our schedules. Oh well, God is good and we are blessed!!

For my birthday (back in June) my husband said we could get family pictures done. (He knows me so well.) We have a friend from church who is working toward having her own photography business. We were hoping to help her out as much as her prices helped us out. :)

Originally we were scheduled to get the pictures taken in mid-July, however storms came through that day. Then due to the kids being in Indiana for two weeks and then our family vacation, well...it had to be pushed back to the end of August.

Here are a few of my favorites, though there are more that I love as well...

Now to getting prints made...

Progression of a storm

Our weather has been like many other's, CRAZY. Last week was filled with high temps and humidity and then the past few days it has been much cooler with low humidity.

Last week we had numerous days where there was a chance of storms and rain (which we could use) but for some reason we had watched a number of them go around us rather than over us. I was able to capture the following storm that moved north of us on Monday. (We did end up getting quite a bit of rain over night.)

It started with a picture of the storm in Lititz to more pictures when we arrived at our home in Ephrata.

 

 

Aaron and I sat on the deck and watched this storm move across the sky. At almost the exact same moment we looked at each other and said, "did you see that?" There was a definite rotation to these clouds. It was crazy. And so incredible to see the power of God's creation!

Summer Fun and Adventures

We have been enjoying summer and some of the fun and adventures that come with it. In just a week our kids will head off to Indiana for two weeks. And then after some family time we will head right into pre-season for soccer and the back to school craziness.

Here are some pictures of some of the fun and adventures we have been having...

 

 

For my birthday, Emma and I went and got pedicures. It was a fun and relaxing way to begin my birthday weekend. Love the girl time!!

 Stephen and Jackson have both started the orthodontic adventure. Stephen currently has an expander. Jackson is having an appliance put in to keep his teeth where they are so that as soon as two adult teeth come in a full set of braces can be put on.  (We are sure that Alex and Emma will join them on this adventure as well.)

 



Jackson got his cast off almost two weeks ago. He has been wearing a removable brace to help continue to protect the wrist as the muscles regain some of their flexibility and strength.

 

 

We were blessed to have Aaron's brother's family visit over the 4th of July. It's always such fun to have all the cousins together.

 

 

For our 14th anniversary, the kids made us a bunch of cookies! They are so good.



 

 Alex got his first professional haircut in years. And he looks great. This was the result of a compromise between him growing it out and mom and dad being frustrated by the lack of care for any length of hair. :) He is growing up so quickly and now is really looking the part of the teenager.



Perspective

For the past few months, I have been feeling a bit discouraged. I was frustrated with God for not bringing me specific opportunities to use the gifts He has given me.

I had an "ah-ha" moment just a few weeks ago: just because He gave me the gifts doesn't necessarily mean He will give me the opportunities. I might have to do a little work to use my gifts.Sometimes I think He is waiting to see just how committed we are to doing what He has planned for us to do. When we begin to show faithfulness in little things and initiative to create opportunities He will often bring us things we may not have expected.

It's a lot like the balance of responsibility and privilege we give our children. We often give them small responsibilities and then as they show they can handle it we add more and in taking on more responsibility there often comes some privileges. If the child can't handle the responsibility we often limit the privilege.

Our Father in Heaven parents us much the same way. He wants to see that we can handle the responsibility that comes with our gifts and calling. So He starts us small. With faithfulness (obedience) comes more responsibility and some privilege. Sometimes this privilege is overwhelmingly joyful and sometimes it is simple and sweet. And sometimes He leads us through the fire of something big and painful. These moments are when He is refining and molding us.

You see as I was in this season of frustration at God for what seemed to be closed doors and walls blocking the path I thought He called me to, I was about to walk through an attack that would beat on my spirit and soul for a few months. I was under attack and have never felt so emotionally and spiritually beat up. It literally felt like something inside of me was bruised. How would I respond?

Thankfully, I kept my mouth shut during a lot of this season and I kept doing the job He has called me to do. I worked hard to give godly responses and to extend grace. There were days though that I wondered if I was doing it all wrong. Maybe I wasn't really called to leadership in ministry. Maybe I wasn't as strong and confident as I thought. Maybe it would be best if I walked away. Or at the very least, maybe I should shout and rage against the lies.

Truth is, I am nothing without Christ. It is only through Him and in Him that I am capable of doing anything. The gifts He has chosen to give me are for His glory and His glory alone. 

After a few months, God mercifully has allowed there to be some reconciliation and the healing process has begun. Starting about a week prior to the meeting for reconciliation through today I have been given multiple opportunities to use my gifts. Honestly, there are a few of them that I have initiated, while there have been others that God has dropped into my lap quite unexpectedly.

As I look back over the past few months, I can see the sovereignty of God. He knew that my frustrations would be met with a challenging time in my life. He knew that the resolution would be met with opportunity. He knew I needed to walk through the hard times so that I would trust Him more deeply. His plan is so much bigger than I ever see. He knows how the pieces all fit together to make a beautiful picture.

I remember a friend of mine had a saying hanging in her bathroom that spoke about our perspective being like that of someone who can only see the bottom side of a tapestry. We see the ends of the thread and the crisscross of colors and stitches that end up looking like one big mess. However, God sees from the perspective of one that is able to view the completed tapestry in all of it's beauty. He sees the purpose of each stitch and each color of thread that is used; for He knows what the completed picture looks like. 

I think that the author of this little poem was missing something though. When a tapestry is completed it is the one who stitched it together that gets the glory. One does not praise the thread or the canvas. Even the praise for the completed piece is temporary, because it is the artist that is given recognition and glory for their work. Without the artist there would be no artwork.

I may never truly know this side of Heaven how connected my frustration and the attack I encountered were entwined. I do know that God is glorified in our obedience.  I am not even 100% sure that the opportunities I am being given are because I "made it through" the past few months, but I do believe that His timing in our lives in perfect. He wants us to walk in faith that His plans are good and trust Him to do what will bring Him the most glory. He is sovereign and good!

Food For Thought...
Do you trust Him to make each stitch (the joyful and the painful) to bring about the beautiful creation He has in mind for you? Are you OK with the process and completion of His work in your life being all about Him and His glory?

End of the year fun!

One of the many end of the year activities we attended was LCS' Sports Awards.

Jackson received the "Mighty in Spirit" award for both teams he played on. This award is given to the athlete who stands out because of their character and spiritual leadership. If our kids ever deserve awards, I pray it is these type of awards every time.

 

Our "daughter", Carissa graduated from high school. We are very excited about what God has in store for her, but sad that when she heads off to college this fall she will not be around as often.

 

 

Soccer seasons have ended. I will post some pictures at a later date with game pictures of all the kids. Jackson ended the soccer season with a splint then cast due to a break in his growth plate.

He will have the cast for 4 weeks. He chose a hot pink cast only because they didn't have purple.

 

 

 

This is a picture of the kids on the last day of school. Ready for summer!!