Our family is in the midst of one of the busiest seasons to date. Which is probably astounding, since I think I comment on our chaotic schedule every time I post. :)
Alexander and Jackson are each playing basketball. While both in middle school they are on two different teams, with different schedules. Aaron is once again the assistant Varsity Girl's coach, so there is yet another basketball schedule. It is typical to have at least two games a night right now, usually at different ends of the county. In addition to these schedules, Stephen has started back into soccer practices, fortunately it is once a week for now. And I just began teaching a class at Lancaster Bible College in addition to my regular job. We are just a bit busy. Poor Emma just gets the joy of going from one place to another right now. Though she did just ask if she could take dance lessons. (Oh my! Not sure I could add another practice schedule to my calendar without it exploding or imploding or something.)
It is easy to feel overwhelmed and a bit out of control when the schedule gets too busy. Here are some tips we have found keep us sane:
- Know your priorities! Is it work and advancing your resume/career? Is it your kids and their involvement in various activities? For us family is a priority. Because of this family dinner is something we strive to keep consistent. Know what your priority is and keep it in mind as you build your calendar.
- Put entire sports/school/class/meeting schedules on your calendar. Add those extra items you are already aware of (like date nights, youth group, vacations, days off, dental/ortho appts., volunteer hours, etc...) so that you don't forget and double book yourself.
- Include space in your calendar. If need be, block out an hour a day or a couple hours here and there when you know it is time dedicated to your family/home. This is the only way my house gets cleaned some weeks.
- Set a time once a week to look at the upcoming week. Talk about who needs to be where at what time, and who is responsible for whom. Have a plan for each day and the week ahead. Include travel times, meals, etc...
- Take one day at a time. This may seem contradictory to #4, but once you have the plan for the week ahead, this actually helps with the day to day chaos. It also helps keep the sense of being overwhelmed at bay. Focus on the plan for today. Don't worry about tomorrow.
- Be willing to be flexible. Weather or illness can easily cause plans to change. Embrace the changes as opportunities. Weather often creates "forced family fun" and togetherness. Illness is a chance to love on someone in a specific way.
- Be willing to ask for help. You may have to find someone to help you balance the schedule and help with one or more items on the calendar. (Be willing and ready to help others as well.) Find another mom or dad who can share carpooling responsibilities.
- Say "No!" when other things come along to fill your schedule. If it conflicts with something already on your calendar, remember your first commitment. If you "could make it work" it probably is something you don't need to prioritize. (For us, this often comes in the form of "Mom, can I go to ________'s house.) Sometimes it is necessary to say no to things just so you can be together as a family, even if you don't have specific plans.
- Keep the future in perspective. It may be that you are asked to participate in something that is a few months away. Take time to consider the following questions: Will life look different at that time, and if so, how? If you would have to prepare for the opportunity, when will you be able to dedicate time to think about it? Does that give you enough time or will it create greater stress because of a limited timeline? Is there anything that could potentially be a priority during that time frame (like that family vacation you need to nail down dates for or the camp that one of the kids really wants to attend)?
I am sure there are many other great ways to calm the chaos, these are what we have found work best for our family. Hopefully these ideas help you and your family.
To end this post here are some pictures of some of our chaos. :) And a momma's moment of bragging: both Alex and Jack are in the top 5 scorers on their teams. They have both stepped up as leaders both on and off the court. It has been fun to watch their skill levels improve this season as well.
