"How are you holding up?"

I have had a fairly large number of eerily similar conversations over the past week. The conversation is usually started by the fact that our children are in another state, and when it is all said and done they will have been away from daddy for close to 3 weeks and away from mommy for close to 2 weeks. Then the question that has come from every single one of these conversations, "How are you doing?"/"How are you holding up?"/"How are you surviving?" 

I am fine! I am beginning to miss them more and more, but I can honestly say that for the first week I had days where I rarely thought of them. For some that statement may have produced a gasp and the thought, "What kind of mother wouldn't think of her children every day they are apart?"  Maybe to some I am a terrible mom, but the reality is this:

I love my children dearly, but I am not IN love with my children.

(I actually first heard this concept very early in my parenting life on none other than the Oprah show. I couldn't even tell you who said it or even what the show was about that day, but that concept stuck with me.)

You see my children are a big part of my world, but they are not my whole world. As a mom, I make sure that they are well loved and cared for, I do my best to raise them and teach them, I nurture and encourage them, I discipline them, but I do not buddy up to them and befriend them. (At least not at this stage in the game.) My goal is to raise three godly men and one godly woman and then at the appropriate time set them free in this world; to be their own person, who still loves to come home to mom and dad occasionally. My purpose as a parent is to raise them, not hold on to them.

You see I am IN love with Jesus and my husband. Those two relationships are ones that I have chosen and pursued over the years, they are one's that I do want to hold on to. I never want any relationship to become a hindrance to my first love, Jesus. Even my relationship with my husband. He knows this and understands this. Then after that, my next relationship priority is Aaron. No other earthly relationship comes in the way. Honestly though there are times and seasons where these priorities don't flesh out perfectly, but it is where I always strive to be relationally.

In a few short years (and it's happening way too fast) my children will move on. They will go off to college and begin their own lives. I want them to be free to do life on their own and succeed. I also want them to know without a doubt that they are loved. Our arms are always open for them to find safety and acceptance. I also know that when that day comes I will be more alone with my two "IN love" relationships than I have ever been before. I had better be sure to still enjoy those relationships so I strive to pursue and strengthen those relationships along the way.

Two weeks is a long time for a Mommy's heart. I honestly am looking forward to those hugs and the noise of them talking over each other in an attempt to fill me in on all the things they did. But until then, I am soaking up and enjoying the quiet and time to reconnect with my priority loves.